Big Burden
by WowIhateMasseffect3
Summary: Same-sex couples, friendships collapse as well as relationships. Jade explains the story of the big burden at HA.
1. You Love Me?

_Dear diary_

_I never knew that me, Jade West would write a diary, I guess I'm changing. The past couple of year have made themselves hard to forget, the fact that relationships broke up, new ones formed, people grew to hate each other, people changed._

_My friends, well "Friends" all keep secrets from each other, those secrets broke us all apart like trying to fix a broken vase, the glue would eventually dry out causing the vase to break again. It was me who had to try to at least pick up the pieces and try to fix them together._

_It all started on the 25/02/2012, I knew it would happen sometime. But the one thing that lit the spark was the break-up between me and Beck-_

_Here's how it happened:_

* * *

><p>We were all sitting down in Sikowitzs classroom discussing the game-show Sinjin wanted us to take part in, he said that one of the couples had to be a same-sex one because his boss demanded it.<p>

He made a decision and decided me and Tori would be that same-sex couple. I had no problem with it really, I like Tori, she's a really okay person. It's just my confidence, I act mean to people because I'm afraid of making a friendship happen and then seeing that built friendship collapse.

I then realized everyone was looking at me, "Jade?" Beck asked looking into my eyes "What?" I said, He licked his lips "You have no problem with that right?" I saw Tori in the corner of my eye with her legs up on the chair using her bag as a shield.

I sighed, this has gone long enough. I'm not telling them I like Tori. They can figure it out for themselves.

I picked up my bag and left the room to visit the janitors closet, there I can be free. No one really bothers me, the janitor, Hank, lets me stay there.

Now let me get this straight, yeah I like Beck but there isn't a spark anymore. His kisses, his feeling, my feelings mean nothing anymore.

I was going to break it up with him awhile ago, I was going to tell him that I wanted to speak to him, but I saw her, Tori was rubbing him. I saw her brown sparkling eye's looking into mine, I knew that I had to stay with Beck or else she would end up going out with him, I never wanted that to happen which is why I was hostile with her.

She may think I hate her, but that's a lie.

I realized that I've been sitting in a closet for about 10 minutes thinking about her, when I hear her voice behind the door knocking.

She opens it and pulls that super concerning face she has whenever I'm in here, I like that face.

"Jade, is everything okay?" She asks leaning against the door frame, I nod and she sighs "C'mon, somethings wrong" she says coming in and sitting beside me.

She lifts my head and I see, that shes on my left sitting cross-legged.

I have a very strong urge to tell her everything, but a part of me stops me from doing that. A voice in my head rings the word straight over and over again.

"Jade, I know you don't wanna do the gameshow" now that got my attention, I look at her "Tori, it's not that. It's just Beck, it doesn't feel right, any of this" Tori looked confused

"You mean with the break-up?" she asks, pulling a strand of hair behind my ear, "Some of it yeah, I don't wanna talk about it" I get up and leave Tori sitting there.

The only reason I truly left that room because I was afraid, when she said about the gameshow it sounded like she didn't wanna do it, that broke my heart so much I stayed in my room all night.

My little brother Nathan kept asking me what was wrong I lied to him and said it was my dad, well I didn't lie, my dad forced me to go to church and to repent sins, making me pray at the dinner table.

I sat in my room on my laptop on The slap. Tori had inboxed me asking if I was okay, I responded yeah and went to sleep.

* * *

><p>Today was the day of the gameshow, I put on my casual clothes which were all black with combat boots, it was really hot outside, beach weather too bad we had to do a Gameshow.<p>

I headed down to the set and met Cat who hugged me, I didn't bother shouting at her for it and she said I was acting different then proceeded to tell me that her brother acted different for a girl her like, right.

Sinjin led to to my seat and Tori came and sat down, she was wearing converse, short shorts, a purple T-shirt. I swear I could of attacked her lips right then and now but I realized that we had an audience.

"Hey Jade" Tori said sitting next to me smiling, Her cheekbones and her dimples went up in a cute way when she smiled, I think I smiled back because Tori was giggling.

"Okay for pair number one, Tori. What is Jade's favourite colour?" Tori didn't have to think twice and wrote down Black and got it right, I got the same question and put Purple which was right

In the next round we were asked for our full names, she put down Jadelyn Beth West, which was right and I put down Victoria Dawn Vega, which was right.

By the end of the game, Tori and I had 20 points, Andre and Trina had 10 points and Robbie and Cat had 20 points.

It was a tie-breaker question "This question has to match your partners and is worth 5 points!" Sinjin announced "Do you love your partner?" Now, here's a secret about me. I can't lie, It feels like I'm being ripped apart, limb by limb when I lie.

Knowing the consequences I put my answer down as did Tori.

"Robbie, Cat, say your answers at the same time"

"Yes!" Robbie said, Cat looked down confused of what to do "Cat, do you love Robbie?" She looked around and saw everyone looking at her "I don't know" Robbie's face looked like he just jizzed in his pants when she said that

Sinjin shrugged "2 points!" he shouts, "Jade, Tori. Your turn, at the same time!" he shouts again, as I gulp and Tori opens her mouth at the same time

"Yes" We both say, She turns to face me looking gob-smacked as well as Beck, Robbie, Cat, Andre and the rest of the crowd

"Jade and Tori are the winners!" he shouts as the crowd clap, Sinjin hands us the trophy. Tori is still looking at me likewise the gang are too.

My biggest secret is out and Tori feels the same way.

I rush out the back of the stage into the alleyway, I go to kick the dumpster, She likes me back and I never even knew.

I hear footsteps and realize she's right behind me "You feel the same way." she starts, she walks around to face me, she looks into my eyes "You could of told me" I scoff "Right, you want me to say "Tori I have a fucking mega crush on you and I want to fuck you?" I couldn't of said that" I say

She takes my hands "Jade, I've liked you since I met you" She starts to say "I loved your style, your acting ways, your attitude, your face, your smell, your face, your..everything" she says

"What about you hm? Perfect feature, face, nose, cheekbones. your voice makes all the guys swoon. How could I not have fallen for you?" I question her, I keep walking towards her making her fall into the wall

"Every guy swooning over you, I warned you about Ryder, I warned you about Steven. It hurts me to see you dating someone that isn't me. When you dated Steven I practically told him everyday that I hated him and he maked me sick"

By nose Jade's nose was touching Tori's "What about you getting jealous with me and Beck?" she asks "I wanted you away from him in-case you fell for him"

Tori put her hands on my cheeks and our lip touched, hers were soft and not rough like Beck's, The familiar taste of peaches made me wanted more as our kiss became quickly heated into a groping session around our necks as her lips made their way down to my collar bone and she started to suck it leaving marks.

We eventually stopped when we needed oxygen and we decided to part ways to go home and talk in the morning.

* * *

><p>I woke up to my phone vibrating to about 6 texts in one minute, all from Beck telling me that the gang all needed to speak.<p>

"Hey, meet us all in McDonalds" he texted, McDonalds ugh. I hated it there, I'm vegetarian and It makes me sick when we have to go there, watching everyone eat hamburgers.

I got dressed and headed into my car, I drove down to McDonalds and found the guys, Tori was sat next to Andre, and Cat inbetween Robbie and Beck in the booth.

I saw next to Tori on the edge which made her in the middle

"So, the gameshow last night" Robbie starts, "Sh Rob. What was that all about?" Beck started, I shrugged, I looked at Tori who rubbed her arm, something she always does when she's nervous

"You and Tori, like each other?" Robbie asks, I looked at Tori and she nods as do I

Cat bites her lips, I knew what was coming.

Me, Beck and Cat knew each other through Elementary school, we were all raised as Christians who didn't believe in same-sex relationships, Beck's mom was really strict with it and forced her son into schools that were all Christian.

We went to church every sunday, my mom, before she left, told me to hang out with Beck. We eventually started to date when we started HA, whilst Cat's mom forbid her to hang out with me, she made up a lie that she was visiting a guy called Derek when she was really meeting me and Beck.

We were all devout Christians.

However, Robbie and Andre went to an all boys school and were taught that same-sex couples were okay. I know there not gay, Andre is currently dating Trina and Robbie had a huge crush on Cat.

"Were Christians Jade" Beck states, Cat shakes her head "It's wrong" I got angry, I saw Tori bury her face into her hands "Beck, I'm 16 now, I can do what I want" I tell him, he shakes his head

"How long?" he says, I'm confused "How long have you liked her!" he shouts, He's gonna get upset I'f I tell him, when we dated "When I first met her"

He looked pissed, got got up and pulled Cat with him, Andre was hugging a scared Tori and Robbie was leaning against the window frame sighing.


	2. Really? Gay?

**Today I have a cold, it makes writing this harder.**

**halogirl2012 - Thanks :) It's not a one-shot and I don't like pie, so I'll take some crisps instead :)**

**loverxanime ****- I don't know xD Depends on whether you read the rest of the story 0.o**

* * *

><p><em>I entered the hallway of HA, all eyes are on me. People whispering and pointing as I open my locker, a note drops out.<em>

_I pick it up whilst looking at the many people starring at me, the note said "You fucking dyke" I sighed scrumpling it up and throwing it back in my locker, I close it and turn to find a group of guys and girls starring at me_

_"What are you starring at?" I shout "Dyke" one of them says, walking away after I hiss at him, "Whore" another says, I turn to go to Tori's locker, she's standing by it and looks at me "You must feel pretty stupid" she says "Huh?" I ask_

_"I would never go for a lesbian, I don't go that way. Fucking whorish lesbian. Go burn in hell" she says, her words are heart breaking, she spits on me and walks away while a group of people pass me laughing and yelling vicious words._

_I turn around to see Beck, he punches me in the stomach, I fall to my knees "The church should of taught you better" he says walking past me and leaving me on the ground._

_Andre and Cat come by me tutting, Robbie stops in-front of me and calls me a skank before walking on._

* * *

><p>I wake up, and realize I'm in my room, hyperventilating and scared. I look at the clock on my wall which reads 6AM. A few more hours before hell starts.<p>

On Friday me and Tori confessed that we liked each other, we started dating on Saturday and Beck walked out on us.

Today was Sunday, I had to go to church.

I headed downstairs and into my car along with my dad and my brother Nathan. Nathan was 14-years-old, technically he was my half-brother, my dad picked up some skank, had sex with her and she landed the baby on him.

My dad didn't really like Nathan, called him a mistake, a child he never wanted. It's not like I was wanted either really.

Mom left when I was 11 when I first started HA, she was violent and came home drunk, apparently she was dropped on her head as a kid.

I pulled up outside the Church and saw Cat and Beck sitting together in a row, Beck mouthed "sorry" an Cat smiled at me, her mom made her turn her head back to the front.

We took our seats and after singing a few songs I had completely forgetten what today ment.

Today was the day all the teenagers had to get a special baptizing, like as a baby but it means you become an adult, only a few people fail the baptizing, those people comitted sins.

One guy had stolen, he was banished along with the other guy who lied.

I knew I would be screwed.

"Caterina Jane Valentine" The priest called as Cat did her vows and drank a liquid, the priest made a cross sign out of water on her forehead and it was done, she sat down.

"Beckett James Oliver" Beck went up and did the same thing, and sat down

"Jadelyn Beth West" I was called up, I nervously kneeled down as I started to say the verses, I got to the line "I will repent" when the priest stopped me

"Something is wrong" he started, Beck stood up, his mom pushed him back down, Cat looked worried "This girl, is what we would call Arrogatio"

Everyone in the room gasped, My dad stood up and grabbed me by the arm "Foolish child!" she shouts hitting me in the face, he drops me to the floor, I see my brother crying as my dad grabs me again and pins me to the stadium

"She has sinned, banish her!" yells the priest as my dad pulls me down the corridor,dragging Nathan with him.

* * *

><p>What happened that night it hard to describe, a mix of forcing me to repent and say that I wasn't gay? Doesn't sound mean does it? WRONG<p>

My dad dragged me and Nathan home and bitch slapped me until his hand got tired, I may sound like I'm exaggerating but I'm not, really.

He went into my room and tore the place up, my posters ripped, my clothes thrown on the floor, he wrapped something around my neck, I thought he was going to choke me. I saw it was the cross of christ and he starts to yell words in Latin,

I'm fluent in Latin and he said "Repent this girl" and said Jesus will forgive you several times before dragging me upstairs again and locking my room.

Luckily being a girl and all I had my phone hidden in my bra, I pulled it out and texted Tori that I was coming to hers.

I swiftly packed my bags and opened my window, which by the way were soon going to be barred, my dad saw it on Harry potter where the Durselys barred Harrys window, he thought it would be a good idea.

Glad that he didn't, I climbed onto the roof and jumped down onto the trampoline, I headed around front and hopped into my car and headed off to Tori's

* * *

><p>I pulled up in the drive-way in-front of the wooden garage door, I knocked on the door and Trina answered "What do you want?" she asks looking at her nails, not really interested in me<p>

"Tori. Where is she?" I asked as nicely as possible, which isn't possible, so In a rude way

"TORRII!" she yells, I can hear Tori's footsteps rumbling down the staircase

"Hey Jade" Tori said smiling and putting down the hairbrush she was holding, Trina went back upstairs.

"Tori can I stay here tonight?" I ask, I looked desperate "Yeah, Why what happened?" She looks concerned "Well I went to church today" I started and already I can say that Tori is hating the story so far

"And they found out I was gay so they banished me and my dad went beserk" I finish really fast, "Jade he didn't try to...y'know..?" She asks, I'm actually shocked "Ew no Tori Ew god that's..EW!" I manage to say, she laughes

Again, with the cute cheekbones and dimples, god she's so adorable, The church and my dad are trying to make me give up something adorable as that? I mean C'MON!

First day at HA every single fucking guy swooned over her, she manage to make the gay guys straight with the flip of her hair, she got Ryder daniels, rep RYDER FUCKING DANIELS to beg for her back

She could date anyone she wanted, she's dating me.

I could tell that Andre liked Tori, the way his boy posture was when she was near him, I'm suprised he's not pissed with me.

Again, I zoned out because Tori was now straddling me by the waist and waving her hand in-front of my face

I grab her hand and sniff it, something she's always hated since we visited Yerba, She pulled her hand back holding her wrist and pulling a disgusted face but giving me an eskimo kiss afterwards, yep she's still straddling me

If I was a guy, I'd probably have the biggest boner right now, not kidding.

I grab her waist and hug her, her hands go through my hair, we hear the door unlocking and Tori is frozen in fear on my lap so I try to push her off but I can't

He dad walks through the door

"Urm...girls?" he asks, as he just looks at me and Tori. Tori on my lap with her hands in my hair and my with my hands up with the "I'm innocent" Expression

"She had a spider in her hair" Tori quickly says before wriggling off me lap, her dad shrugged and heads upstairs

"That was close" she says, I smack her with a pillow "You think? Next time if you wanna sit in my lap, we do it in the bedroom"

She gives an evil grin "Fine" She says pulling my wrist and forcing me upstairs.

We get to her bedroom, she closes and locks the door before pushing me backwards, from the front slowly and pushing me on the bed, she jump and crawls on me eventually making our eye's meet, her lips meet mine and our tongues meet each other for the first time.

I put my hands below her stomach just resting on her hips as we kiss. Everything that happened that night would probably be explained in one word

Wet

* * *

><p>I wake up the next morning, I swear I saw the best thing in the world.<p>

Tori, lying down on her floor, arm covering her front, other arm on her hair, she's naked. Seriously I wanted to get over there and start again but she looks so beautiful when she sleeps.

I kinda then realized I was naked too so I threw on my clothes, _BANG BANG! _"Tori, come get some brekfast!" Tori's mom yelled at the door "Tori?" she repeats

"She's asleep" I quickly say lifting Tori onto the bed as she stirrs up "Oh, okay Jade" she says before going downstairs

Phew! close one, I mean what if she walked on and saw Tori naked and me half-naked and just watching her

Tori eventually woke up properly and got dressed, I pouted a little and Tori started to laugh.

We headed downstairs to eat some brekfast, Tori sat next to Trina and I sat next to Tori

My mom and dad eventually left to go to work and Trina went to put her plate in the sink leaving me and Tori holding hands under the table

"So guy, what did you two do last night?" Trina asked, Tori looked at me and bit her lip "We watched a movie" I said, Trina put her hands on the table "So thats where those noises came from" she smiles and picks up our plates

"Erm, noises?" I ask, Trina turns on the tap "Y'know, like moans of ecstacy and stuff" she says whilst cleaning the dishes, Tori gulped "Yeah, we watched Marley and Me, you probably heard the part when they try for their first baby"

Trina nodded "Whatever, I'm going to school, don't be late guys" she says leaving.

Fuck fuckity fuck, that was close!

* * *

><p>Me and Tori got in my car and headed to school, I told her about me not wanting to go home but I had too, who would protect Nathan then?<p>

Beck comes around the corner and pulls my arm to his locker "Hey, I'm sorry for what your dad did at the church, and I'm sorry for my attitude" he quickly says looking like he's going to spill tears

"Beck, it's fine really" we hear footstep and see Robbie, Cat, Rex, Andre and Tori

"Were all fine with you and Tori. Really" Andre says as the rest of the group nod "Yeah, who wouldn't like two girls doing it, that's hot!" Rex says, Robbie hits him "Ow! I'm only expressing my opinion!"

"HEY!" We turn the other way to see Mr. Dickers, coming down the stairs "What are you guys doing in the hallway! Class started 20 minutes ago!"

We all look around and realize were the only ones in the hallway "Detention, tonight! Again!" He yells before heading into the direction of the black box.

Ah fuck.


	3. Reckless

**I don't normally upload more than one chapter in one day but I'm bored, It's raining and it's a school night.**

* * *

><p>After school we headed off to detention again, I hated Mr, Dickers. He forced me and Tori to stay in detention for another 2 weeks, well I enjoyed it. Talking to her the whole time, and starring at her.<p>

I sat down next to Tori on the first row, Beck and Robbie behind us, Andre and Cat behind them.

Mr, Dickers left us a bowl of spinach before he left and said "No talking, period!" he shouts, Cat speaks up "One time my brother thought he had a period, his arm was bleeding" we all rolled our eyes except for Tori who laughed.

My phone rang, It was Nathan

"Jadey!" he shouts on the other end "Nathan, what's wrong?" I became worried, Nathan only calls me Jadey when somethings wrong "Dad is going nuts! He's destroying your room calling you a fag" Tori must of heard because she stood up all concerned like

"Nathan I'll be there as fast as I can, my car keys are in the kitchen cupboard. Hide in my car!" I shouts before hanging up "My dads going crazy" I say walking to the window, "Wait, you can't go. You're dad will kill you!" Cat says, "I have to, he's my brother!"

I climb out the window, "I wanna come with you" Tori says on the otherside of the window "Your safer there Tori" I say, "Take my car then" she says dropping her keys through the window, I run off and Text Beck "Beck make sure she doesn't follow me" he responds saying yeah

* * *

><p>I take Tori's car down to mine, her car has her scent, it smells of a mix of perfume and cherrys. I think I must be weird if I want to roll around like a dog in her car.<p>

I open up the glove compartment to find a picture of her when she was younger, brown hair, purple T-shirt along with Ugg boots. She hasn't changed one bit, I smile to myself.

I pull into my driveway and see Nathan huddled in my car "Nath, get in Tori's car, I'll take car of dad" I say, he finishes hugging me and I run inside the house, the front door is wide open and I hear smashing.

I run to my room to see my dad ripping up the pictures me and and my friends "Dad!" I yell, he turns around. The fear in his eyes "You, are never going to see that girl again!" he yells coming near me "You can't stop me dad, what about Nathan. Get example your setting!" I yell back

"Because of you he'll grow up to be a faggot!" His veins are popping out of his arms, I can tell that he fucking mad as hell

"You don't even love him, you call him nothing!" I shout back, he moves closer "You could of been happier with that Canadian! That girl would of been happier with that musician!" he says, he must mean Andre

"Tori never liked Andre!" I say, "Her parents are christians arn't they? Hm? I'll phone them and tell them that their daughters gay!"

He pushed me into the wall, the desk goes right into my side leaving me sitting in searing pain, I can hear him on the phone "Mrs, Vega? Yeah, your daughter is dating Jade!" he shouts, "Yeah, disgusting isn't it?" He shouts

He puts down the phone and comes back into my room, he takes me outside and throws me onto the grass, "I don't want you in my house again!" he yells slamming the door.

I'm just left crying on the ground, I look at Tori's car to find Nathan watching me. I wipe my tears and get in the car "Nathan were going to a special place" I manage to choke out in my tears "Don't object, this is for the best"

I drive down to the community center, I leave Nathan in the car and tell the lady inside what happened, two men come back outside and take Nathan inside the building, he hugs me and begs for me not to do this, I tell him I have no choice and that I love him. He eventually complies and goes in.

Another thing my dad has ruined.

* * *

><p>I drive down to Tori's, by now detention is over. Beck must have given her a lift. I park up and knock on the door, her mom answers and pulls a face and lets me upstairs.<p>

I go into Tori's room to find her huddled up on the bed, I rush over to "T- what happened" still huddled up in a ball, she looks at me "Andre told me he loved me" she manages to get out, tears form in her eyes "I came home after Beck dropped me off, and my dad told me about a phone call he got about me"

I was rubbing her arm and she sat up and put her head on my shoulder "He talked to me about it and he got mad and left, my mom was fine with it as was Trina but my dad now hates me" she started to cry, "What about Andre?" I asked

She starts to cry really loudly "He tried to ...force me to kiss him" she starts, I feel the anger inside me "Robbie got him off and Andre punched him in the face making Cat cry, He left the room swearing and me crying in the corner"

She looks at me "He hates me, my dad hates me" I hug her and she falls asleep in my arms, I look at the door and see Trina there, she smiles at me, she NEVER smiles at me "Thanks for taking care of my baby sister" she says, I nods and she leaves closing the door.

Tori's phone vibrates, I get up and answer "Girl, Am sorry for what I did. Please believe me. I love you" Andre said on the other line "Andre, how could you?" I ask, I hear him sigh on the other end "You don't deserve her Jade, you were a bitch to her. I was always nice to her and she went for you"

He started to get me angry "Andre you forced yourself on her and forced her to kiss you. And you wonder why she doesn't like you!" I shout he hangs up and I sit on the floor holding her phone, I fell alseep.

* * *

><p><strong>To be honest I didn't like writing this, I wrote something else but saved it in a document to put up another time.<strong>


End file.
